DEAR MAN Worksheet

Asking for What I Want or Refusing a Request

“DEAR MAN”

Describe the current situation. Tell the person exactly what you are reacting to. Stick to the facts. __________________________________________________________________

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Express your feelings and opinions about the situation. Assume that others cannot read your mind. Don’t expect others to know how hard it is for you to ask directly for what you want. _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

Assert yourself by asking for what you want or saying no clearly. Assume that others cannot read your mind. Don’t expect others to know how hard it is for you to ask directly for what you want.

_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

Reinforce the reward to the person ahead of time. Tell the person the positive effects of getting what you want or need. Help the person feel good ahead of time for doing what you want. _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

Mindfully keep your focus on your objectives. Maintain your position. Don’t be distracted.

Appear Confidant Use a confidant voice tone and physical manner; make good eye contact. No stammering, whispering, staring at the floor, retreating, saying “I’m not sure,” etc.

Negotiate by being willing to give to get. Offer and ask for alternative solutions to the problem. What am I willing to “settle for” or “give up” in order to gain what I want in the situation? _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Someone to Care

I often times find myself uncaring.  I don’t care about anything, but more like I have lost my ability to care. I just want everything to go away. I wish I could care but I can’t find and don’t have the energy to and I can’t find the motivation to care about anything. When you’re at this point, no one understands that you’re just trying to care about yourself, even a little bit and you can’t.

It’s like you go numb and you can’t feel anything. You can’t feel pleasure but you also can’t feel pain. The only thing you can do at this point is exist; you can only survive. You hope for the days when you feel better; when you don’t feel as numb. And you hate the days of continuing numbness because they feel like they will never end.

Sometimes I just need someone to care for me when I can’t. Sometimes I need someone to show my that I am important. I need to be shown that I am loved and cared for. It’s scary when you can’t feel anything; when you can’t even care about yourself. Sometimes I need someone to tell me that I am important and that I have a purpose.

Lately, I’ve been feeling less uncaring. Lately, I have found my passion and my purpose. Right now, I am letting this drive me because I know that if I didn’t, I would end up back in that circle of uncaring. So find your passion and let it drive you. Use it as your strength and know that someone does care for you. I might not know you, but I care for you and I empathize with your journey because it is not an easy one. But you will get through it and you will get better; just stick with it and remember, I care.

Mission Statement

Hello. My name is Talia and I suffer from severe depression. I was diagnosed over 3 years ago and some days, I feel like nothing has changed between then and now. I want to tell you my story. I need to tell you my story. I want you to understand, those of you with depression, that you’re not alone. This is something I still struggle with. And I want you to understand, those of you without it, how you can help and what it’s like to have depression.

I want you, friends and family, to gain an understanding and acceptance that there are times, I can’t help the way I feel and how I act. That it’s not something I can just change with positive thinking.

I want you, those with depression, to know that you are not alone, despite how you feel and what your brain is telling you. There are people who know how you feel, want to help, and want to help you get better.

I hope you’ll follow along as I tell my story and as I try to explain how depression works. Please realize that depression is not the same for everyone. People react differently to depression just as they do in life. With this blog, I hope to provide understanding, hope and support as well as attempting to make a difference. Thank you.