What Makes A Hero?

What makes a hero?

Today’s world is permeated with superheroes. Every year, there’s a new movie about Iron Man, Superman, Captain America, etc. And while I enjoy these action movies as much as the next person, lately I’ve been considering; what makes a hero? You have the general trait of saving the world. Most of the superheroes are people who find themselves with powers beyond those of a normal human and they use these powers for the good of humankind. Of course that is all fantasies and comic book. Superheroes can’t exist in real life. Can they?

I choose to believe that there is a superhero inside of each of us. Whether it’s helping a stranger or volunteering. It may be the smallest act but eventually all of those acts add up.

Superheroes aren’t perfect. They make their share of mistakes and often those mistakes are bigger because of who they are. We make mistakes too, but we’re also most often given the chance to fix those mistakes.

Heroes are everywhere in everyday life. They can be the person walking down the street or the coworker down the hall. Mental illness is an invisible disease. The smallest act of kindness can make the biggest difference to anyone who is struggling or having a bad day.

So who do you want to be? Your average, normal person or a superhero? Because they come in every shape and size and you can be a hero.



“We first make our habits, then our habits make us.” – Charles C. Noble

We all have a desire to control our lives. We feel helpless when we feel like our lives are not in control, and the problem comes when we can’t let go of that control. The only thing we can control is our behaviors and actions. We can’t control other people, certain situations and their behaviors. Anxiety comes from the worry that we have because of the uncertainty of our situations. By letting go of our need for control, we can find some peace within our lives.

We have a number of choices when it comes to letting go of control. We can accept people as they are and let go of our need to ‘fix’ them. We can let go of the ‘victim’ role within relationships. Be strong enough to get your emotional needs met. Let go of your ‘shoulds’ for people and yourself. Should implies guilt and shame. Read more about Should here. See other people as having wounds, not faults. Realize that the only ‘failed’ relationship is one that you didn’t learn from. Often failed relationships are helpful life lessons. Choose to see the love and the good in other people and yourself. We also need to let go of a thirst for approval, super competitive-comparative mode (comparing yourself to others) and relying too much on other people.

You can understand more about yourself and where your need for control comes into play, by asking yourself two questions. What are three unhealthy habits in your life? And what are you willing to do to break these habits?

In the end, you have to remember that all we can change is ourselves. “It is as it is.” So if you’re having trouble remembering this, ask yourself these four questions:

  1. How much control do I have? What is outside my control?
  2. “It is as it is”. I’m not agreeing with or giving up on it, but I can let it go for now
  3. If I can’t change the situation, can I change the way I think or do about it?
  4. What can I do that is within my control?


My Social Environment

I don’t do well in social environments in fact, I downright suck at them. I always feel awkward, like I don’t fit in. I never feel like I’m part of the group, but just hanging on by my fingertips.

Social environments have always been hard for me. I didn’t thrive, socially, in school. I usually had one or two close friends and many acquaintances. I remember times when I would be chasing after the popular group of girls, wanting them to accept me but never being accepted. This hurt, but I never considered it to be my fault. When I was younger, I just accepted it as status quo and I was ok with that. I had friends elsewhere and I never had to worry about having friends to hang out with.

As I grew older and entered high school, I never found my niche. I was involved, with my classes, with choir and theater, but I never quite fit in. It was the same story, feeling like I was on the outside looking in. I was never invited to events unless it was a group thing and while this bugged me every once and awhile, I was too busy for the most part to care. I may not have felt like I fit in but I was involved enough not to care.

College was a disaster for me. Everyone thought I would thrive in a college environment, at this point, I feel like I did everything but thrive. I feel like I crashed and burned. I had many issues with roommates and by the time I left college 3 years in, I hadn’t made any serious friends. In fact, the only thing I had done throughout college was lose friends. As I said, not a good experience for me.

Today, I have 2 friends, one of which is an ex-boyfriend while the other is my current boyfriend. I don’t know what they see that no one else can be I’m grateful that they do. My social environment still sucks. I don’t really get out, but then again I don’t enjoy doing the things normal 20-year-olds do, like drinking every weekend. But I do want to have fun. I want to hang out with people and do things, I just can’t find the people to do things with and I don’t even know how to go about meeting people at this point. I wish I could make friends but my depression makes that nearly impossible, so maybe if I get better, my social environment will change for the better.

My Story Part 8

This is a continuation, part 8, of my daily journal of life after outpatient treatment for depression, and anxiety. Please click for Part 1Part 2Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, and Part 7.

Part 8, Day 1:

I’ve been so tired lately. I have a feeling this job is starting to take its toll on me. Working overnights and sleeping during the day is harder than I thought it would be. My new puppy has been driving me crazy lately. She won’t listen to me at all! It’s very frustrating and on top of being tired all of the time my patience is at an all time low. I need a break.

Day 6:

I’m nervous about this upcoming vacation/wedding. Things are tense with this side of the family, so it could be an interesting trip. The BF and I are killing two birds with one stone by going camping instead of staying at the hotel. It gives us a little  more room, more privacy, and this way I get to bring the new puppy with. Hopefully there is no bloodshed at the wedding and everyone is on their best behavior

Day 12:

The wedding/camping trip went very well. My cousin (the one who got married) and I had an interesting heart-to-heart and he told me that he only wants me to be happy. Of course, he and I were more than a little drunk when this occurred. I spent most of the reception getting drunk but had a lot of fun. I caught the bouquet, but I’m definitely not the next person getting married. That would be my other cousin. Unfortunately, I can’t go to his wedding because I have to work. I’ll be working 10 days in a row now because of this vacation and my next trip. This could be interesting.

Day 18:

I’m heading to my grandparents’ house this week. They live on a lake and I love it up there. It is so peaceful. Plus, being born a Pisces, I love the water. It’ll be fun spending the ‘weekend’ during the work week with my boyfriend in a place that I love. I am a little worried because sometimes I get cornered and have to discuss (or receive someone’s opinion) about a topic I would rather not talk about, but all in all it should be nice. When we get back, I’m going to help my best friend with his fundraiser and meet his new girlfriend. I’m a little worried about that, but then again, I worry a lot anyway.

Day 23:

The trip was amazing although the weather did not cooperate. We (the BF and I), ended up going to a couple of wineries because the weather was bad. This brings our total to 15 wineries in 3 months!! Good thing it’s something we like to do! We had nicer weather on the last full day before we left. We spent the day on the beach. My puppy wasn’t very happy because I wouldn’t let her out of her crate, but she had just gotten spayed and I didn’t want to risk infection. When we go up in 2 weeks, I’ll let her out and see what she does in the water. I have a feeling she’ll love it as much as I do!

The fundraiser was an interesting day. He ended up not needing my help which made me feel useless and unwanted. Plus, it seemed like I was ignored by everyone there like I was the plague. I felt like a social pariah. I met his new girlfriend and she seems nice, but I don’t think she likes me very much. Of course my BF says ‘you only said two words to her!’ but some things you can just feel. I hope this doesn’t cause problems between me and my best friend!

Please stay tuned for Part 8. Here are the links for Part 1Part 2Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, and Part 7.

100th Post

This is my 100th post.

Firstly, I would like to thank everyone who reads this blog. While this blog is therapy for me, it is also written to inform and educate others regarding mental illness. Without you, this blog wouldn’t have a purpose.

Secondly, I would like to give some background on where I was when this blog was started versus where I am now. When I first started this blog, I was freshly graduated from outpatient treatment. I was writing not only as therapy, but because I was inspired. I wanted to inform and educate others. I wanted to share my personal experiences and take the stigma away from mental illness. And while there was some rockiness in regards to this blog (my two year absence), I have come so much further. I have learned so much and made great strides in my personal life.

While I should never have stopped writing, it was a necessary break for me. I need the time to separate from the friend who started the blog with me. The friend who walked away.

I hope to continue writing and educating others on this blog as I continue my own journey through depression and anxiety. I hope this blog has helped you and I continue to encourage you in your own journey with mental illness. I know it’s a difficult path, however you can make it through. Know that I am here for you and I am rooting for you just as I hope you are rooting for me.

Please note that for the future, because of time restraints I will be posting only once a week.

The Trouble with Psychiatrists & Doctors

Until my stint in outpatient treatment, I had my fair share of struggles with psychiatrists. I often felt like they weren’t listening to what I was saying. And out of the 3 that I had seen, the 5 different medications they had prescribed hadn’t worked.

With the initial psychiatrists I had seen, I felt ignored. You walked in for a 15 minute session, perhaps a 30 minute initial session and you talk to them. They ask you how you feel, and you give them some background history on your mental illness. At the end of that 15 minutes, they either up your dose, change your medication or tell you to continue taking it. This often frustrated me, because I would be told to continue taking something that I felt wasn’t working.

I’ll admit that a psychiatrist’s job isn’t easy. There are no tests that they can perform to find out exactly what medication you need to take for your illness. It’s all guess work based on what you tell them; trying to figure out which receptors in your brain are working overtime or are not working at all. But it’s still frustrating trying different types of medications and having them not work or getting viciously sick on them because of the way they are interacting with your body.

My previous therapist had heard so many complaints about psychiatrists and medication that she decided to go back to school to become an APN, or nurse practitioner. She felt that because she saw her clients weekly, it would be easier for her to prescribe a medication that would work for them. I think this is admirable because at the age of 50, she is going back to school and getting her bachelor’s, master’s and doctorate to become a nurse practitioner.

Now that I’ve finally found a medication that works, I feel better. I’m not so down anymore. I’m glad I followed my doctor’s directives at the outpatient center and I’m glad that I’ve found someone who listens to me.

If you don’t feel like your doctor is listening to you or if a treatment plan isn’t working, speak up. Try and explain to them how you feel or, look for another doctor. You’re allowed to see other doctors. Find a fit that works for you and will provide the best treatment so that you can recover. Be proactive, it’s your health that’s at risk.

What’s In A Name?

When you are first diagnosed with a mental illness, it can be very confusing regarding the number of people you are going to meet on your journey to better health. All of these people are here to help you, but what exactly are the psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists doing to help you? Here is a short guide on the difference between all the medical professionals you will meet when you are diagnosed with a mental illness.

A psychotherapist is an umbrella term for any professional trained to treat people for their emotional issues. A psychotherapist can be a psychologist, social worker, counselor, or psychiatrist.

A psychologist is an expert in the field of psychology which is the “science of the mind or of mental states and process”. Psychologists have to attend graduate school and obtain their doctoral degree, a PhD or PsyD. The difference between a PhD and PsyD, is that PsyD psychologists are trained specifically for clinical work, while PhD often focus on research. Psychologists often have to complete years of internships to gain further training and experience. They also must be licensed by their state boards of psychology. Psychologists are not medical doctors and can not prescribe medication. Psychologists are licensed to do counseling, psychotherapy, and provide treatment for mental disorders.

A psychiatrist is a medical doctor that specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of mental illness via medication. A psychiatrist usually has 4 years of medical school, followed by an internship and residency. They have a M.D. A psychiatrist can write prescriptions for medication. Psychiatrists must be licensed as a medical doctor in their state of residency. They must also pass the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology’s Psychiatry Certification Examination. Many psychiatrists have a special focus such as major depressive disorder, schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. They will often work together with a psychologist to provide treatment for mental illness.

A therapist is a person trained in psychological methods to help patients. Therapists can be psychoanalysts, marriage counselors, social workers and life coaches among others. A therapist provides support and guidance and helps patients make decisions and clarify feelings to solve problems. Selecting a therapist is a personal experience. You should always feel comfortable and welcomed by your therapist, but also consider their licensing and professional credentials. It may take time to find the right therapist for you, so feel free to shop around for the right fit.

A licensed mental health counselor has at least a master’s degree in psychology or counseling. They are focused solely on providing therapy to individuals, families or couples. The mental health counselor has to have 2 years of additional experience working with a mental health professional after graduate school in order to be licensed. They are qualified to evaluate and treat mental health problems, with much of the emphasis on working with problems of normal living rather than mental illness.

A clinical social worker has at least a master’s degree in social work and very specialized training. Social workers provide case management and hospital discharge planning. They can also act as an advocate for the patients. Some social workers also practice psychotherapy. There are many different types of licensure depending on the state in which they are licensed.

Psychiatric or mental health nurses have specialized training in providing mental health services. They often work with the doctors to form an individualized therapy and medication program for their patients. Some nurses can prescribe and monitor medications depending on the states where they practice.

Here is a quick cheat sheet for clarification:

Psychologist Therapists Psychiatrist
  • Advanced degree in psychology
  • Does research or therapy
  • Diagnose disorders or problems with patients
  • Determine appropriate treatments
  • Work in tandem with psychiatrist
  • Help patients make decisions & clarify feelings
  • Provide support & guidance
  • Includes psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, life coaches & social workers
  • Any number of degrees or certifications
  • Help patients make decisions & clarify feelings
  • Provide support & guidance
  • Medical degree
  • Does research or therapy
  • Diagnose disorders or problems with patients
  • Determine appropriate treatments
  • Work in tandem with psychologist
  • Prescribes medication
  • Help patients make decisions & clarify feelings
  • Provide support & guidance