Emotions are feelings that are felt during a particular situation or event.
Here are some facts you need to know about emotions:
- Emotions are neither good or bad, right or wrong. Emotions just are; they exist.
- Emotions don’t last forever.
- Emotions are not facts.
- When a strong emotion comes, you do not have to act on that emotion.
- You can’t get rid of emotions because they serve as important survival functions.
There are eight primary emotions.
Secondary emotions also exist. These are an emotional reaction to a primary emotion. An example would be to feel shame when your primary emotion is anger. Secondary emotions are learned emotions from families, cultures and our environments. Secondary emotions are important, but it is more important to discover the primary emotion so you can get to the root of the problem.
Emotions have three jobs.
The first is communication. They can be communicated both verbally and nonverbally. Verbal communication of emotion occurs through words, voice tone and volume. Nonverbally, emotions can be communicated through our faces, posture and gestures. Non-verbal communication happens very rapidly and can often help us in certain situations. Even if we try to hide an emotion, it is often communicated through our nonverbal actions.
Emotions also motivate us. They tell us to ‘act now’ and to ‘stay focused’. They give us the motivation we need to change certain situations and strong emotions allow us to overcome obstacles both in our minds and in our environments. Emotions also save us time in important situations because we don’t have to think everything through.
Lastly, emotions can give us validation. Emotions can be informative about a situation. ‘Gut Instinct’ emotions can be used as signals and alarms. However, when carried to the extreme, emotions can often be treated as facts. This is where validation turns against us and this will be discussed in a future post.
Some last notes about emotions. To discover an issue, it can often help to discover where you ‘feel’ this emotion. For an example anger is often felt in the stomach, with a tensioning of the muscles.Urges to do something are natural, but not necessarily healthy. Everyone’s emotions are different so everyone will react differently to different emotions. Finally, unhealthy thoughts occur when we attach judgements to our emotions. You need to be willing to radically accept your emotions as they occur (Radical Acceptance).
Emotions are not bad. In fact, they often can be helpful depending on the situation. It’s how we react to our emotions that can cause us problems.