Self-Soothing

One of the biggest coping skills taught in outpatient treatment is self-soothing. Self-soothing falls under DBT or the Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It is used when a person is feeling distressing, and when situations and emotions are overwhelming. Self-soothing is also known as a deterrent to self harm, because instead of doing something to hurt yourself, you’re doing something that gives you comfort and pleasure. These suggestions can help you feel better, calm down, and even feel relaxation or pleasure. Self-soothing most often uses the 5 senses; touch, taste, sight, smell and hearing. Try a variety of these items until you find a combination that works for you.

SIGHT: Be mindful of every sight, but do not linger on any. Allow the sights to calm you.

  • View pictures of family/friends.
  • View pictures of your favorite vacation spot or place you wish to go.
  • Look at art or go to a museum.
  • Go for a nature walk.
  • Walk through a pretty part of town.
  • Buy some flowers for your home.
  • Light a candle and watch the flame.
  • Watch an uplifting movie or video.
  • Be creative.
  • Painting, markers, crayons & a coloring book or sketch pad.
  • Mandalas (Coloring Castle, Free Mandalas, Printable Mandalas).

HEARING: When you are listening, be mindful, letting the sounds come and go. Be mindful of different sounds and let them flow through you.

  • Listen to relaxing music (via youtube, pandora, etc).
  • Listen to sounds of the ocean, forest, rain, or other sounds of nature.
  • Listen to a small animal.
  • Sit by a waterfall.
  • Play a musical instruments if possible.
  • Sing your favorite songs.
  • Do a guided meditation.

SMELL: Notice all the different smells around you and take in all the smells.

  • Smell a meal being cooked either at home or in a restaurant.
  • Walk in a garden or in the woods.
  • Breath the smells of nature.
  • Light a scented candle or incense.
  • Use essential oils.
  • Use hand lotion and/or drawer packets.
  • Use perfume or bath salts (Epsom salts).
  • Bake some bread, cake or cookies.

TASTE: Let the taste run over your tongue and slowly down your throat. Mindfully taste each new thing.

  • Cook a favorite meal.
  • Drink a soothing drink like hot chocolate or tea (especially blends for stress or anxiety).
  • Chew gum.
  • Eat hard candy or chocolate.
  • Go to a potluck and eat a little of each dish.

TOUCH: Take a bubble bath. Pet your dog or cat or cuddle a baby. Put on a silk shirt shirt or blouse, and feel its softness and smoothness. Sink into a really comfortable bed.  Float or swim in a pool, and feel the water caress your body.

  • Play with sand.
  • Use hand lotion.
  • Use a heating pad, back massage pad, or rice pack (hot or cold).
  • Play with modeling clay.
  • Dance.
  • Use a stress ball.
  • Play with silly putty.
  • Pet an animal or cuddle a baby.
  • Take a bubble bath.
  • Float or swim in a pool and feel the water caress your body.
  • Brush your hair.
  • Sink into a really comfortable bed.
  • Nap with a soft and furry blanket.
  • Use a weighted blanket (Bought Blanket; Sew-able Blanket; Tyable BlanketNo-Sew Blanket).

The entire point of self-soothing is to do something that is comforting to you and to continue doing it until you feel better.

DBT Self Help: Self Soothing

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